Gentle Sobriety
The bridge between addiction and healing

 

White Knuckle Sobriety   

You Might be an Addict

General Questions  

Am I an Addict?

Bar Stool Dreamer

Facing Secrets

I Gave Up

Mama Died Drunk

                  

                                      

 

                            

 

 

 

 

"You might be an addict . . . . ."

if you wake up in a ditch and when you roll down the window realize the car is upside down.
And you don't remember where you bought the beer (so) you give to the people who opened up the hatch of the car so the cops, who are on there way, won't find any beer
(And then you) hug the cop who came to the accident"

Contributed by a friend

 

If you dream of going to the bathroom and wake up wet
Pass out driving!
Wake up in places other than your bed!
Roll your car over the bank because there wasn't a shoulder.
Back into a log skidder because you couldn't see it behind you.
Look at people with one eye closed.
Get mad if you aren't served immediately.
Hoard booze. (or substance of choice)
Dream about where your next party will be.
Get loaded before you leave for a party.
Lie about the amount you consume.
Use before performing.
Use while performing.
Reach down to get a beer and drive your car into a ditch.
Make sure you keep a short case by the bed.
Drink while driving a company vehicle.
Nightly, place large glass of booze (no ice) on your headboard, sip all night.
Get really mad when the bartender cuts you off!
Wake up at night and take a sip.
Fix a drink first thing in the morning.
Order breakfast and a shot.
If the breathalyzer registers .150 or above!
Mix really strong drinks for yourself but lighten others to balance the useage!
Joke with ambulance drivers drunk, before you get in your car and drive.
If you have to be drunk or stoned to have sex. (Underlying problem there!)
Drink anything that contains alcohol.
Huff various chemicals.
Use anything to get high!
Order Slammers at closing!
Don't pay bills so you have money to buy booze.
Don't eat so you keep the buzz.
Feel embarrassed the next day so you start all over again.
Enter all drinking contests!
Don't attend any function that doesn't serve alcohol.
Say hurtful things to people you love.
Do things stoned you would never do sober!
Let your kids get away with stuff just so they will go away.
Puke in the toilet so much you feel it is your best friend.
Embarrass your kids.
Beat your kids because you are out of control.
Say, "I need a drink to get warm."
Say, "I need a drink to cool off."
Look in the mirror and say, "You are so beautiful"  after puking in the toilet.
Believe compliments in a bar are sincere.
Dump the good person because they can't/won't afford your habit.
Wake up and not recognize the surroundings.
Forget where you parked your car last night.
Forget where you left your spouse last night.
Forget you are married.
Forget where you live.
Forget your dates name.
Forget your date.
Forget to pick up your kids.
Forget your kids birthday party.
Remember your kids birthday party but drink instead.
Visit friends who you know have well stocked liquor cabinets.
Hate your partner when stoned.
Beat your partner.
Allow your partner to beat you.
Do all sorts of things you would never do sober! -  Act really brave.
Get into bar fights.
Provoke bar fights.
Piss off a motor cycle gang member.
Piss off whole motor cycle gang.
Drive really fast.
Drive really fast to get away from angry gang members.
Take great chances -  Have unprotected sex with total strangers.
Tease a mean dog.
Train a biting dog not to bite.
Trip over a biting dog before "no bite" lesson is complete.
Offer to "Turn the Other Eye"
 Then are shocked when you regain consciousness!
Break the arm of your partner over the last line of coke!
Pretend you are single on a double date.
Dance on a bar.
Wake up naked in your driveway.
No idea how you drove home.
Clothes are no where in your car.
Walk with all the dignity your naked hung over body can muster to your front door.
Take off your clothes in public while stoned or drunk.
Have an uncontrollable urge to be sexy.
Repeatedly pee in your wife's underwear drawer.
(She eventually changes drawers with you)
You can't figure out why your socks are wet.
Caught standing on the door of the oven peeing on the burners.
Pee on the drapes at a houseboat warming party.
Notice people staring at your new wig all night!
Drinking buddy says you only had a pinned knot of hair on your head when you got into the car.
Retrace steps of night before. 
Find wig hanging on low branch where you climbed into the car!
Understand why hot man ignored you all evening, even after you felt sexy!
Embarrass your children at their school dance.
Moon customers at random
Flash your penis at the bartender.
Grab your crotch and gyrate (favorite of men over 70 years old)
Unbutton your shirt to be sexy.  (also favorite of men over 70)
Sleep on park bench with newspapers for blanket
Shoot hole in coffee table.
Fall asleep while cooking and smoke up girlfriends new home.
Drink and ride a motorcycle really fast.
 
 
You might be an addict!

Vocabulary

Prepare for Sobriety

Healing  

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Spirit Ranch - Oregon    

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