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Gentle Sobriety
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"I Gave Up" A young woman rocked back and forth, wailing at all she had "given up" for sobriety. She was definitely sorrowful and I felt her pain and loss. At the top of her list were the parties she couldn't attend and associating with her using friends. Oh, she missed them terribly. I made a quick list of what I "gave up" for sobriety. When it came my turn, I shared my thoughts. Start each line by saying, “In sobriety, I gave up” . . . . . . . . Ruining My Health losing most of my liver losing my teeth puking every morning pissing the bed the ugly breath of near death the dark bar pale-face of a dead end drunk not eating so I could afford to party Breaking My Children's Heart spending money needed for basic food and shelter embarrassing by kids in front of their peers having my kids taken into state custody losing my parental rights calling my kids hurtful names putting my kids down setting an irresponsible example of parenting getting drunk and missing their birthday party showing up drunk at their school functions making excuses for no Christmas presents making my kids witness my abuse of their loved one voluntarily abandoning my kids allowing my kids to witness violence leaving them with anyone who would baby sit so I could party trusting people with my children that really harmed them Shafting My Family shafting the only people who really loved me borrowing money I won’t pay back believing family or country owed me using family until they no longer cared never feeling their pain over my self destruction screaming at loved ones who cared about me Sick Relationships being arrested for domestic violence believing that a violent relationship was love waking to a total stranger in my bed. unreasonable jealously breaking marriage vows broken promises Depending on Addicts as Friends thinking that everyone who used was my best friend unreliable friends who were never there for me Unreliable Work Habits endangering my coworkers risking my bosses business My High Risk Behavior black outs not remembering last nights details driving too fast and taking chances waking up and wondering where I was Pissing Away Money paying court costs and attorney fees receiving past due notices and final disconnects being evicted for non payment of rent forcing my kids to live without heat or food, or clothes or basic security Living in An Ugly Void missing the beauty of a sunset sleeping through a sunrise seeing life through dull colors numbing of human emotions existing in a hollow, emotionless void fear that if I started crying I could not stop the deepest part of loneliness the tunnel vision of addiction What do you want to "give up" in sobriety? What is most important to you? |
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