Gentle Sobriety
The bridge between addiction and healing

White Knuckle Sobriety   

You Might be an Addict

General Questions  

Am I an Addict?

Bar Stool Dreamer

Facing Secrets

I Gave Up

Mama Died Drunk

Help for Family

If you are searching for ideas to help an addicted family member, the key to sobriety is purging the secret. Accept the fact the addict is keeping a dark secret.

What you want to do is move the addict from addiction to sobriety.

What you are asking an addict to do is give up the one crutch that numbs their old terror, suppresses their rage and blocks their memories. Addicts use to ease their pain.

Facing the past openly is excruciating.  The wounded person must relieve the terrible pain they have tried to avoid.  There is no other way to purge the past.

An addict needs to know that if they go through this painful process, it will finally be over and they will be free. 

If you are helping someone, often there is a denial of family members that anything this bad could have happened to their loved one.  Take off the blinders.  Listen.  Accept what you hear. 

If good families have a bad kid (addict) then someone close to the child hurt them.  Face the fact. 

Many times only one child in the family is a target.  The rest are "normal" which makes the injured child unable to share their pain.

Visit http://www.privatefamilymatter.com to see examples of secrets millions of children experience daily.

Then ask your addicted relative, out loud and with love, to tell you their secret.  You may meet resistance or you may unleash a flood of emotions.

 Listen. 

It is hard not to immediately rise up in defense of a named abuser but for once, shut up and listen.  Really, really listen.

Vocabulary

Prepare for Sobriety

Healing  

                                            Help for Family               

Spirit Ranch - Oregon    

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