Dedication
Once upon a time, I was first introduced to the insanity of addiction by a successful boyfriend, living the American dream. I never thought that I would be sucked into this lifestyle again. Before addiction destroyed his mind and then his life, J. Taylor gave me encouragement and support to take college classes. For this I will always be grateful.
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Many years later, I forgot my early lesson and married Frank (Hap) Walter Keinonen, a late stage alcoholic who owned a tavern! Wow! What a road of self-destruction did I set upon.
He gave me up front and personal lessons about the insanity of living with an alcoholic. The fun and laughter of a drunk in the bar dims quickly in the reality of a marriage based on foggy brains.Then, with little encouragement, I launched myself on a private journey into my own hell of addiction.
Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, it comes down to a hard choice; stay and die by his hand or mine, or walk away sobbing and live. Leaving a relationship where you really, really love someone is the preplanned scheduling of a truly broken heart.
Many years later, I recognized why his addiction was so acute. The pain of his early child abuse is part of Private Family Matter.
"I do see you in all the old familiar places."
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During my hard core drinking years, I did meet some of the funniest, laugh your ass off people. I have been left with some wonderful memories of a spontaneity that no longer exists in today's highly technical world. I still laugh out loud at our gut shaking humor before our addictions spiraled us into such individual misery.
To my old boozing buddies who bit the bullet young, I feel your presence. You have guided my hand by the thoughts you send. I know our reunion will be a glorious experience. Keep guiding me. I love you all.
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And to Gloria. "Too Late To Rescue" by Hal Ketchum was your funeral song. Your heart was as pure as the single white rose I laid on your grave. I miss you but I know you are with me in this adventure.
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And to Gerald Ray Bergeron, my first sober relationship. Wow! As much as alcohol was an addiction for me, nicotine was your soothing substance of choice. You shared a childhood secret and it too became the foundation for both web sites. I feel your presence and miss you so very, very much. And, you gave me the courage and support to break my nicotine addiction too.
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I am very grateful to my Oregon AA group who offered their support through the months I waited for the grip of addiction to leave me. You listened as I sobbed buckets of tears. Thank you.
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I dedicate this website to the miracle that came to me by "accident" and set me on the red road to sobriety.
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And to my brother Al, whose abuse led me to develop both websites.
Revised 8/2008
